Knock at the jade door
with the jade rod, the mind neither too tense or too loose.
Collect the spiritual mist, drink the celestial broth, sending them to the
internal organs in order to store them deeply.
(Sex,
Health and Long Life - translated by Thomas Cleary)
Tai chi & sex
Tai chi and qigong are known to improve your sexual performance; and these alone are enough to change your enjoyment of sex.
Taoism is more about how you regard
things, about your perception of them.
There are underlying principles and concerns that apply to every aspect of life,
not just exercise.
As your journey in tai chi continues, your ability to make unexpected
connections will improve, and you begin to see patterns in existence that were
formerly unknown to you.
Love
The difference between love, loyalty, commitment and
procreation are very clear in taoism:
You can love somebody but feel no sexual desire (e.g. your parents).
You can feel sexual desire but have no wish to live with the person or even get
to know them better.
You can live with somebody but not have regular sexual relations.
Love is not about sex, fidelity,
marriage or trust.
Relationship
How we relate to one another and how we consider things are important themes in
tai chi.
Taoist sexuality is not so much about sex, as about relationship.
You cannot reasonably have a sex-only relationship with somebody; you must build
friendship and understanding beyond the physical.
Convention
Modern society has taken a very simple
physical act and added bureaucracy.
Instead of two people mutually enjoying one another because they want to, there
is an entire cultural game to be played.
Dating, engagement, marriage and divorce are all part of a huge convention.
It dates back to tribal times when women were regarded as a commodity and
dowries mattered more than the actual person.
Property, ownership and legality were more important than love, sex and
companionship.
Religion introduced sin, fidelity, loyalty and guilt.
Nowadays, this is no longer the case.
As the influence of religion wanes and birth control frees women from
unwanted pregnancies, people refuse to continue relationships that are
no longer satisfying.
The difference between the idea and the reality are far more apparent.
Wu wei & sex
The taoist approach to life involves the implementation of 'wu
wei';
going with the flow.
In self defence, this means not blocking punches.
You do not try and stop the incoming force; you accept it and subtly
redirect it to avoid being struck.
This serves to over-commit your attacker and prevents the possibility of
force against force.
In sex, this same attitude is adopted.
Pliable
In taoism, adaptation is
encouraged - you assess the requirement of the situation and you evolve your
response relative to the nature of the circumstance.
Consider: a man asks his partner to wear sexy underwear, heels and stockings.
Taoism would not see such a request as sexist, rude, cheeky or risqué - but
rather an honest admission of what the man enjoys.
The female partner may choose to accord herself with the request or not.
Tai chi demonstrates the advantages of going with the flow, of not resisting.
These same lessons can be applied sexually, where
yielding can
potentially produce a more mutually satisfying relationship.
Resisting may create conflict whereas consenting may prove to be beneficial to
both parties.
There is no way of determining
beforehand where a new avenue may potentially lead.
The future is uncertain.
The possibilities and variables are increased every time you open yourself up to
the unknown.
Receptivity is at the heart of tai chi and taoism.
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Page created 4 January 1999