The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
(Gandhi)
Rules of conduct
Mistakes are about breaking rules.
All rules are artificial because they are made by thought, by ideas.
Obedience is not natural.
People naturally want to do as they please.
Social rules and standards stem from philosophies implemented with the
intention of improving relationships between people in society.
If somebody transgresses, we are trained to respond to their behaviour.
How we respond is usually determined by our conditioning.
Relationship
There are two main things to consider in any given situation:
How somebody behaves
How we respond
We cannot reasonably
control how somebody else behaves but we can handle our
response in different ways.
In
taoism and tai chi we are concerned with
how we do things.
The essence of things and the way in which matters are dealt
with is very important.
Our actions cannot be separated from who we are.
Forgive others
Everybody does things that are unkind or inconsiderate.
There are few answers in life but many choices.
We can choose to be burdened by regret or guilt or hatred of another.
Or we can choose to forgive.
Forgive yourself
We all do things that we regret later.
The event might pass without a thought but guilt slowly eats at you over
time.
Only by addressing your memory and admitting your misconduct can you hope
for peace.
The first step is to be honest about your behaviour
rather than make excuses.
Admit your guilt and take
responsibility for your actions.
Perhaps you can apologise earnestly or atone in some way?
Sometimes, it is not possible to make up for what you have done.
If your regret and shame are earnest, you can consider the event with clarity.
Learn from the experience and you will change.
Forgive yourself and
let go; let the experience pass into memory.
If you are sincere, your heart will soften and the pain will fade.
Page created 13 July 2004