The lessons applicable to the action of the dojo must, if they are to have
any meaning or value at all, be worthwhile in meeting the situations one
encounters everyday outside of it.
(Dave
Lowry)
Emotions
We experience emotions all the time. Emotions do not come and go. They
are constant.
Many people only tend to notice emotional extremes: anger, fear, aggression,
sorrow.
The milder moods and feelings are often dismissed as unimportant.
Suppression
Emotion is a form of energy within us, underpinning everything we do.
If we try to suppress emotion, that is foolish. Energy cannot be created or
destroyed.
Suppression cannot remove emotion.
It can only dull our awareness of emotion, and that is not healthy.
Rather than suppress our emotions we need to understand them.
Some people appear to be cold, detached and emotionally aloof.
This may be construed as being 'calm' when in fact the individual is boiling
with turmoil but hides it behind a
mask
of composure.
Behind the mask
People who conceal their emotions often reveal them involuntarily. They
may be physically tense, resistant or
nervy in some way.
The emotions exist and they are manifest. You just need to notice the signals.
Not all hidden emotions are hostile.
People also hide passion and desire because they are afraid to reveal these
feelings.
Showing your emotions can make you feel exposed and vulnerable.
Your affection may also be rejected.
It is not easy to be emotionally
honest in modern society.
People are often clumsy and callous with one another. Being candid about your
feelings may cause upset.
Upset
Young children learn how to use emotion as a
weapon.
They manipulate adults into conforming to their wishes by emotionally
blackmailing them.
A tantrum works wonders. It deters the parent from thwarting the child's plans.
As with so many things, children learn emotional bullying from other children
and from adults.
Adults do not always learn to use their emotions considerately. Many adults can
be
cruel, manipulative, greedy and selfish.
Anger and
crying are two forms of emotional upset that
tend to provoke a response: fear or sympathy.
Again, these emotions are the extremes.
There are many milder forms of upset, such as
frustration.
Balance
Extremes of emotion are inevitably harmful. They damage the body,
cloud the mind and destroy relationships.
Balance must be found.
Instead of being balanced, people often suppress their feelings publicly but let
them out in private or through indirect means.
Most adults observe a public 'face', seeming to be balanced and rational.
It is socially inappropriate to become outwardly upset.
Emotional balance cannot be faked.
It requires a calm mind and a positive relationship with those around you.
Composure
One outcome of tai chi is
composure.
Many people try to fake composure but the phoniness is manifested through their
brittleness, fear and physical tension.
Real composure comes from being detached and a little laid back about life.
You stop taking things quite so seriously, especially yourself.
Being emotionally honest with yourself is crucial. You should not suppress or
pretend.
Feel whatever emotion comes your way and if it is adverse, contemplate the
cause.
Dig deep and find out the source of your upset. Work to remedy the problem if
you can.
Fear
The most destructive emotion of all is
fear.
It is a primal emotion and is very insidious.
Fear causes people to behave in all manner of stupid ways.
Almost every conflict in our culture has fear at its core.
People act from fear.
They become suspicious, paranoid, irrational and macho because of fear.
Fear is often fuelled by the
media, by popular culture, by tradition, by
competition, by insecurities, by ignorance and by stupidity.
Rise above fear. Mature.
Page created 22 November 1999