Humility, modesty and a keen eye
for small details in the natural environment are key attributes.
(Andrew Juniper)
Conflict
Conflict may occur when there is a disagreement between people.
Contradictory values, priorities, beliefs and opinions create contention. Quite
often a quarrel of some nature may occur.
Conflicts often involve:
Strong emotions
Fixed standpoint
Unwillingness to compromise
Limited perspective
Stubbornness
Lack of compassion
Raised voices
Verbal, emotional or physical violence
The opposition of ideas can lead to bitterness, hostility and a great deal of upset.
Disharmony
Conflict typically involves
emotional turmoil, anxiety and stress. Is it
worth the effort?
Many disagreements are exceptionally petty and essentially
meaningless.
Consider: football fans will assault fans of an opposing team on sight.
For what reason?
If one team or the other wins, what difference does it make?
Is the world a better place?
Has a tyrannical despot been overthrown?
Did someone cure cancer?
Have the peoples of the Third World been fed?
When somebody seeks to argue with you, it is important to ask yourself what the
contention is really about.
If the disagreement is pointless, is there any reason to get into conflict?
Pride, ego, insecurity, distemper - these are not adequate reason for conflict.
They are just excuses.
Listening
If we listen to other people, we realise that there are many sides to
every situation.
It is often possible to avoid conflict.
People do not care to listen these days. They are too busy talking. Too eager to
promote their own agenda.
Listening is a skill.
It requires practice and patience.
Pride
We must not only listen to what the other person is saying, we must also listen
to how we respond to it.
Our reactions are very important.
If a friend jokingly insults you, you may just laugh it off. But if a stranger
does the same you may be offended.
Why?
Do you not value your friend's opinion over that of a stranger?
Why should you care what a stranger thinks? What difference can it possibly
make?
Our responses need to be considered. Pay particular attention to emotions.
Anger, aggression and resentment are extremely destructive. People often react
on impulse.
Their response may be ill-conceived and careless.
Don't take yourself quite so
seriously.
You
If we can accept that the world does not revolve around you personally,
then that is a starting place.
Other people have wants, needs and feelings too.
Many people walk this earth as if they personally owned it. Everyone else is a
cast member in some monumental production staged for their benefit.
Wake up.
It is not all about you.
Do not implicate yourself in every situation.
Sometimes things happen and you are an unexpected victim.
This is not nice, but it was not about you personally. Do not make everything
personal.
Bully
A selfish person is pushy. They like to get their own way. They are quite
comfortable pushing others around.
Do you like being pushed around? How does it make you feel?
Bullying other people is unpleasant. It is one of the less savoury
aspects of human conduct.
Are you a bully?
No lies. No excuses
It is easy to blame other people for conflict. People instinctively lash
out and seek to blame someone else.
Try being honest.
No lies. No excuses.
Are you blameless?
Have you played any small part in creating conflict or were you simply on the
receiving end?
Be genuine about this. It is impossible to make progress if you deny the truth.
Being
sullen and resentful only perpetuates conflict.
It is important to find the source of disharmony if you desire to move past it.
Being willing to change is imperative.
Fear
Do you
anticipate conflict in your everyday life? Do
you live in
fear?
Is your fear genuine or are you just overly-sensitive?
The problem with fear is that much of it is imagined.
People create their own problems by becoming anxious about everyday situations.
They blow things out of proportion. They over-react.
Are you holding onto an image?
Men puff up their chest and strut around like a
rooster in an attempt to look 'hard'.
This kind of behaviour is designed to intimidate would-be assailants.
It only serves to make the individual look weak, fearful and insecure. It
advertises their fear.
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Page created 2 April 1999