The prayer of the monk is not
perfect
until he no longer recognises himself or the fact that he is praying.
(St Anthony)
Putting other people at ease
Most people think of 'confident' as being sure of
yourself and your abilities.
This is only one part of confidence.
The other part is concerned with how others see you - do they feel
confident with you?
Do you put others at ease or do you make them feel
nervous?
Sometimes your own uncertainties can make the other person doubt you.
It is important to be aware of how you respond to others.
Do you feel nervous?
Do you talk or do you listen?
Being yourself
You are who you are.
Accept it.
There are some things that you can change about yourself and there are things
that you can't or wouldn't want to.
Trying to be someone else will only make you seem desperate and needy.
Self-consciousness can make you seem nervous, vain or false.
If you are phoney with people then that is who and how you are.
That is the impression people will have of you.
If you are open and genuine, most people will be receptive to you.
Genuine & sincere
Being confident is not the same as being assertive, although
assertiveness can come from feeling confident.
Confidence is the inner strength and quietude that can be seen without the need
of expression.
It is the sense of calm and assurance, of unspoken competence.
Emotional composure allows you to exude patience and sincerity.
It is sincerity that matters most of all.
If the other person believes you to be genuine and true, they will trust you.
Their trust in you is the root of confidence.
If there is no divide between your word and your deed, they
will feel comfortable with you.
Sincerity does not mean being serious and sombre.
It means being real.
Doubt
Doubt is natural in life. There is so much that we are
uncertain about. Almost everything is unknown.
Most people worry about what will happen and attempt to forestall future mishap
by analysing situations for clues.
You cannot control every outcome.
Taoism encourages you to accept your doubts and
embrace the uncertain, the unknown...
Things will go wrong. Mistakes will be made. You are only human.
If you let doubt pray on you, it will cripple your ability to act.
More...
Page created 5 May 2001