Another problem
is that the master may try to teach you what he can do now as a result of
years of practice, instead of showing you a process that can gradually lead
you to this.
(Chungliang Al Huang)
Martial arts
classes
Martial arts classes should be beyond bullying but some are not.
You
should expect an environment that will not
permit bullying.
Anger,
aggression, abuse
and 'the strong victimising the weak' should not occur.
Students of the
martial arts should know better than to bully anyone.
Self defence is potentially dangerous, so a mood of friendship and mutual
respect must be fostered.
When you trust your practice partner and know their motives to be pure, you
can relax and have fun.
Character building?
Some exercises and drills in martial arts classes may represent subtle forms
of bullying.
It is important for all students to understand that anything they undertake
is voluntary.
They should feel quite comfortable backing out if they are unhappy.
No pressure should be applied.
The term 'character building' has been used for decades as a means of
legitimising systemic bullying.
Self-mastery
Many martial arts
exercises are designed to subdue the
ego
and help you to let go of the 'self'.
This is to be expected.
Your teacher may seem direct to the point of being blunt.
Ask yourself: are they helping you? What is their motive? Is your
teacher a 'giver'?
Zen
encourages a person to speak without preamble, to lose the 'chattering
monkey' of the conscious mind and simply speak.
Do not mistake this for bullying.
Confidence building
Our classes teach the individual to think for themselves and to look at
their lives.
You must question preconceptions and received knowledge.
We encourage you not to blindly give someone authority over you, and not to be afraid
of saying
"No".
Class bullies
We do not permit bullies in our classes.
Students are chastened for careless application of the material and any
outright bullying will result in an appropriate punishment and potentially
banishment from the school.
Bullies are weak people and we only want students of good
character.
No conflict
Rather than confront bullies in daily life, we choose to ignore them.
If the bully pushes things to a physical level, we apply the material.
Until that point, they are unimportant.
A bully only has power over you if you give it to them.
When somebody gives you abuse, ignore it. Treat them as though you were
already friends.
This in itself will throw people off-kilter.
You are not adopting your role as 'victim' nor are you fighting back. You
have chosen another path.
No matter what the bully says, do not give them anything to work with.
Act as though their words were amusing.
When you see a bully for what they really are, you may well come to find
them amusing.
A bully is a weak, insecure person, desperate to feel strong about
themselves.
Instead of looking for strength within, they lash out at others and rely
upon
fear for power.
When you give them humour and pity rather than fear, the bully has no
teeth.
If a bully were genuinely strong, they would have nothing to prove.
They need you.
Dealing with a
bully is never easy, but
a wily person can evade a bully with ease.
It gets simpler the more times you do it.
Saying "No" is fundamental.
Wu wei & te
In our classes we offer scenarios that train you to cope with group attacks.
You are deliberately disempowered and required to make a come-back.
Composure and
detachment are necessary.
As your capacity to deal with adversity increases, we
challenge you further.
Soon you become indifferent to bullies.
Wu wei advocates following the incoming force and using it to
your advantage.
Te
is concerned with the power you can employ through the practice
of wu wei.
Nothing is
forced. Things are allowed to unfold. This
is far more skilful than it perhaps sounds.
The same principles can be applied when dealing with a bully.
Page created 21 March 2000