Virtue/power is
not an active process that imposes but a passive one that permits.
(Ray Grigg)
Childhood's end?
Many children are the victims of bullying whilst at
school.
As adults we assume that the bullying is over as soon as we leave school and
commence work.
Sadly, this is not the case at all.
Bullying occurs in many forms and in many situations.
What is bullying?
Bullying occurs when one person takes it upon themselves to victimise
another.
Typically bullying involves persistent, threatening, abusive, malicious,
intimidating and insulting behaviour.
Bullying is intended to undermine the confidence and self-esteem of the
recipient.
Particularly serious cases can arise when the bully is perceived to be in a
position of power in relation to the person being bullied.
Harassment
Harassment is a common form of bullying. It can involve:
Any unwanted persistent sexual advances (physical or verbal)
Racist, sexist, homophobic, insulting remarks, jokes, malicious gossip, banter, innuendo, swearing, name calling
Being excluded from activities
Abuse of power or position
Manipulative questioning: damned if you do/damned if you don't
The effect of bullying
Bullying makes the recipient feel threatened, humiliated and
vulnerable.
It may cause them to be de-motivated, suffer stress related illness and even
resign from work.
The victim feels disempowered, frustrated and helpless.
Often they do not know who to turn to.
Adult bullying
Adult bullying can take many forms:
Verbal, written or physical threat and intimidation
Persistent, negative and unjustified comments
Offensive or abusive personal remarks
Abuse and humiliation in the presence of other colleagues or in private
Removing areas of responsibility without justification and undervaluing work done
Setting the individual unachievable targets and/or changing instructions without consultation in order to cause the individual to fail
Reducing a colleagues effectiveness by withholding important information
Monitoring work unnecessarily and intrusively
Continually refusing reasonable requests without any justification
Unfair allocation of work
Relationship bullies
Families are notoriously guilty of bullying.
They employ a wide variety of devices intended to manipulate the recipient and
often involve other family members in the endeavour.
In a marriage/intimate relationship it is very common for the bullying to be an
ingrained part of the relationship.
The bullying is so pervasive that the participants no longer see it as such.
They live in a situation of ongoing low-key domestic abuse.
Passive bullying
A passive bully is a very sneaky kind of bully.
They manipulate the recipient by non-confrontational means: feigned
vulnerability, emotional displays and mood swings.
Sex can be used a tool by such people.
Casual flirtation and pretending to be your friend are common methods of passive
bullying.
Passive bullies are especially insidious because they project an image of
weakness and frailty.
They appear to be the victim but are actually the instigator.
A passive bully will make you feel as though you are letting them down or even
letting yourself down.
They are experts at looking harassed, upset and victimised.
Do not fall for it.
More...
Page created 21 March 2000